Living in the Now

Terrarium in a botttle

The following post is taken from my journal “Living in the Now" covering a one month period.

I was 20 y.o. living in Rhode Island in my senior year of college when I wrote this.

Monday, November 25.

I bought a wandering jew plant today. A typical day for me involves meeting new people, finding interesting displays, sales, exhibits, lectures, and films.

Talking to young, old, middle-aged, Black, White, Asian, Jewish, Catholic, males, females, rich and poor. I don't waste a minute. I'm learning things all the time. I love life. Living is a pleasure. Good things happen to me all the time.

Poetry is just one of my interests.

DH Lawrence wrote on loneliness.

" I never know what people mean when they complain of loneliness.

To be alone is one of life's greatest delights, thinking one's own thoughts, doing one's own little jobs, seeing the world beyond and feeling oneself uninterrupted in the rooted connection within the centre of all things."

Tuesday, November 26.

When the light of day first appears, I know it is time to awaken. My body and my mind work together.

To my new and young wandering jew- a long & healthy life. May your branches stem out and flow forever.

Shells seem to brighten my day. I bought a shell necklace and shell bag at a crafts fair yesterday.

My thoughts are pushing through new barriers, what was always there, yet kept from me.

I see the light in my mind's eye. 

Yes, I see oppression in the form of racism and sexism.

USA. Land of opportunity.

DH Lawrence wrote on friendship.

"He said to me: you don't trust me!

I said: Oh yes, I do! I know you won't pick my pocket, I know you'll be very kind to me.

But it was not enough, he looked at me almost with hate.

And I failed entirely to see what he meant.

Since there was no circumstance requiring trust between us.

Tuesday, December 3.

I am going to learn photography with a 35 mm camera. Meanwhile taking mental notes of what I want to photograph. Rhode Island is a good place, so many scenes I want to remember in years to come. When I am long gone and on my way.

I must get a book on terrariums so I can make one to give away.

Words to define me:

detective, romantic, lover of beauty, writer, poet, painter, seeker of knowledge, collector, reader, speaker, contemplator, dreamer,

idealist, artist, creator, dancer, optimist, organizer, planner.

Saturday, December 7.

Spent some time in the morning browsing through the pottery sales. Bought a hanging planter, in aqua, which brings me to colors. I tend toward aquas and light greens. Cool colors. Water, grass.

Would like to learn how to make pottery, jewelry: earrings, bracelets, chokers, and other necklaces; candles in sand, macrame, rugs.

Sunday, December 8.

Accomplished a 9 page paper for Black Literature. That's how I spent most of the day, a sense of accomplishment is a good feeling.

Music is a feeling. Horns, I like horns.

Xylophones, piano.

Wrote a few letters this weekend. Spent Friday night with Chuck.

Tuesday, December 10.

The more I learn & experience, the more I realize how much there is left unlearnt & unexperienced. It's overwhelming. My thoughts want so badly to push through new barriers. It's in connection to what DH Lawrence was after. There's a potential to the mind that's in the darkness, yet I'm striving to get in touch with it. I want to. I feel a need to.

DH Lawrence wrote on non-existence.

“ We don't exist unless we are deeply and sensually in touch with that which can be touched but not known”.

He wrote on belief.

“Forever nameless.

Forever unknown.

Forever unconceived.

Forever unrepresented

yet forever felt in the Soul”.

Monday, December 16.

It's a bit after 7 a.m. As I sit & eat my breakfast my ears bring me the voice of Jackson Browne and my eyes bring me the sight of waves breaking out at sea and the sun making it's grand entrance upon the horizon. The sky is a host of colors and I can watch the changes.

A sight to behold and I experience it every morning.

When I looked out the window my eyes caught sight of a seagull soaring through the air.

Saturday, December 21.

Christmas time is in the air. Packing done. My mind is neatly packed too with thoughts of friends-time spent worthwhile. Joan DelVecchio in Cambridge Friday.

Chuck in Wakefield Saturday, and Gregg in Manhattan Sunday.

Monday, December 23.

I am in Bayside. Home for the holiday.

DH Lawrence wrote on Optimism.

“ The optimist builds himself safe inside a cell and paints the inside walls sky blue and blocks up the door and says he's in heaven”.