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| Renoir's Still Life : Flowers |
I
started keeping a journal at the age of 19. Back then we didn't have
the technology for blogging. Either we typed or we hand wrote to
document life. I chose to write in a blank book and in that choice, I
chose to add a bit of my own art. Handwriting is in itself an art
form. Now we have hundreds of fonts to choose from when we want to
add our artistry. This font is Nanum Brush Script.
It
was August of that year when at
the age of 26, I entitled my new journal “Random
Thoughts”. I gave each new blank book a title. I did not
know it at the time but journaling would become a very special part
of my life. When we can fill up a blank page with our thoughts, we
can capture ourselves in that fleeting moment, much like a photograph
does. Then time passes and one day we have a way to view where we
were at, what we were thinking, and embrace ourselves for the person
we were and who we have become.
I
share a piece of that past now from “Random
Thoughts”.
It
covers one month, the month of August, in my 26th year of
life.
Saturday,
August 9 9:34 p.m.
I
miss someone I don't even know yet.
Saturday,
August 16 7:24 p.m.
Walking
up University Place I thought about its been long enough since I've
felt the energy for fully living.It's within my power to make a
change
Wednesday,
August 2o 9:46 a.m.You have to practice health, to be healthy.
Reading “I'm Dancing AS Fast As I Can” by Barbara Gordon.“We were intimate strangers”.
Today is Mom's birthday.
Thursday august 21 9:42 p.m.
Ten
years ago today 42 people were killed by storm “Dorothy” in
Martinique.
Finished
book by Barbara G. “ Every time you took a valium you opted for
deadness, and now you must allow yourself to feel, feel everything-
anger,love, sadness”.
GROWTH
IS ALWAYS PAINFUL.
“it's
not a question of good friends, of bad friends. It's a question of
cleaning up your relationships”.
Met
a guy on the bus home who works as a copy writer in the Time Life
building.
Friday
August 22 11:48 p.m.
Went
to the outdoor restaurant at the Citicorp building by myself for
lunch. Ended up talking to 2 h.s. Students from Brooklyn, interested
in journalism & Columbia University. Good day overall.
Signed
up for a course in calligraphy.
Saturday
August 23 2:35 p.m.
Off
to the Guggenheim Museum via Madison Uptown bus. 89th
street & Fifth Ave. Standing in line met a girl named Marilyn,
an artist of sorts. Standing in front of a Renoir painting:A Still
Life called Flowers. 1885. Began thinking that before me is a work of
art that a person took the time to paint, to pay attention to
details. That every stroke of his brush represents his effort, to
create something out of a blank canvas. As these words written fill
up this blank space.
Sunday
August 24th 10:58 p.m.
Every
so often I become still. Time moves on but its irrelevant to the
moment. to the stillness. And what do I feel in the stillness? Is it
a good calming feeling or is it one of pain & loneliness? A
void... an unfulfilled sense of being & having a special person.
The artist often creates out of this pain. Whatever feeling I may
have is nothing others haven't experienced. My pain is not unique to
the human condition. Life never remains at a constant. One must cope
with whatever plight befalls them. I am not alone in this feeling
that there is more to life. I lean on no one.
Monday
August 25th
8:58 p.m.
Found
this quote amongst my things. “unless it grows out of yourself, no
knowledge is really of value to you, a borrowed plumage never grows.”
Began
reading a novel by Barbara Taylor Bradford “A Woman of Substance”.
Wednesday
August 27 11:35 a.m.
Standing
in the middle of the Picasso exhibit at the Museum of Modern Art on
this day- inspired this thought.. what amongst your possessions do
you most value? Answer: my journals, my photographs, camera, letters
&cards from others, all art, things created out of nothing. Art
is the ultimate escape.
Met
a girl from Toronto & then a woman from Detroit who especially
came to NY for the Picasso exhibit.The museum holds a capacity of
10,000. I think today more than that will pass through. Its Member's
ONLY day, & Marilyn got me a ticket. From the museum on 53rd
St & Fifth, I walked to The Comic Strip on 81st
& 2nd.
It was a private party promoting a new book called Spare Ribs by 2
ladies, interviewing women in all walks of life.I had a good time.
From there I crosstowned by bus to Lincoln Center area. Saw Neal's
apartment at 2 Lincoln Square. Ate dinner at The Saloon &then
down to Media Sound Recording Studios to see Emily working on her
single. I enjoyed that. It was one of those days one is happy to live
in New York City. Needless to say- calling in to work sick was a
great idea. I needed such a day.
Friday
August 29th
As
the end of the month draws close, the end of the summer, the end of
long days-been noticing it gets dark around 8 in the evening. Still
hot & humid weather though. I like the Fall. It represents
change-newness, vitality.
Sunday
August 31 3:22 p.m.
Emily
called.Said the sun was out-why not go up to the roof... so it was
our farewell goodbye to the summer season and the roof til next year.
In
closing out this blog post, I just want to say that for me writing
has always been cathartic, “
providing
psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions;
causing catharsis.( Late Latin: kathartikos,
& from
Greek:
katharsis
‘cleansing’ ....and
so it goes.
I
have posted only the month of August from Random Thoughts. The
journal covers 6 months ending in January of my 27th
year. Perhaps more later.
Thank
you for visiting my blog. Love to you!
Loved it!!!
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