Are you offended?

Smiling sky

The dictionary defines offended as “to be

resentful or annoyed, typically, as a result of a perceived insult”.

I would add to that understanding of “being offended”.

To be offended is to be in your ego versus in your spirit. In an earlier blog post of mine from April 4^th, 2013, entitled  "Spirit versus Ego" I addressed the difference between being in your spirit vs. ego. All drama, which includes being offended by another's comments, occurs when we are in our ego. That is because ego based thoughts are generally fear based. When we shift into spirit, we come from love, which includes understanding, acceptance, compassion, forgiveness, and many other high energy states.

I generally like to write about what comes into my field of awareness. Recently this topic of being offended came in several times, nudging me to take a look at it. For me, as a writer, I go through a process of first observing and then writing it down as a way to make sense of it.

I was at a gathering of lady friends one night. When you put 10 females in a room, add liquor, and a lot of talking going on, there's bound to be a bit of drama. We represented 4 decades of ages..including 20 somethings, 30 somethings, 40 somethings, and 50 somethings.

Maybe an hour into the night, when we gals were all standing around chatting away, one of the gals said very loudly, “shut the f**k up Lynne”. This got everyone's attention & now it was focused on the gal who said it. I was not offended. I know that this gal is a friend of mine. I know that her utterance had very little to do with me. Everyone was chatting away having a good time, me included. I could see how someone in their ego might be offended by this utterance but that night, and at that moment, my spirit was in attendance. 

Could she have gotten everyone's attention a better way? I suppose.  But, I do know, that at the time of this utterance, it was no big deal to me. It could even be viewed as a bit humorous. Who talks to their friends that way, I mean really? It was forgotten by me as quickly as it was said. 

When only 4 of us were left, the host, me and 2 others, one of them brought it up. She delivered her opinion of that utterance directed towards me. Basically she thought I should be offended. After all, she said, it was rude. I know that what she meant was that if it were her on the receiving end of that utterance, she'd be offended. Then the other two chimed in by this time, agreeing with her that this was rude behavior and agreeing I should be offended. They all agreed that they care about me & this was why they were offering their opinion.

I let them know I was not offended. I cannot control other people's behavior. I can however be empowered in my response. I do know that being offended is a waste of my time. I don't think I successfully explained to them that night why I was not in the least offended. In writing this post, I went to my collection of books & found the following:

In Wayne Dyer's book, Ten Secrets for Success & Inner Peace, he has a chapter entitled “There Are No justified Resentments”. “I have a right to be angry, hurt, depressed, sad, or resentful”. This can be heard any day from anyone. “Anytime you're filled with resentment, you're turning the controls of your emotional life over to others to manipulate. When you live at or below ordinary levels of awareness, you spend a great deal of time and energy finding opportunities to be offended. Not being offended is a way of saying, I have control over how I'm going to feel, and I choose to feel peaceful regardless of what I observe going on. When you feel offended, you're practicing judgement”.

(I found out days later that this was a line from a movie called The Big Lebowski, the original line being "Shut the f**K up Donny"). 

Thank you Wayne Dyer.

I recommend checking out his book “Ten Secrets for Success & Inner Peace” if this topic resonated with you.

And once again, many thanks to you the reader, for visiting SpiralHappy. Love & Light!

What about religion?

A family of turtles

What about Religion?

Our parent's religion most often determines our first exposure to a given religion. There are those who would say we choose our parents before we incarnate into this material plane.

It is interesting to me that many people accept the religion of their parents as their own without question. As children there is much we do not know yet about the world's history. I can only imagine that most parents assume their children will embrace the same religion they follow. Perhaps a few out there say to their kids, ..”research all the religions of the world, and pick the one that resonates with you the most”. Ha, wouldn't that be special. I did not have that said to me growing up. I am also not a parent so I cannot tell you I did that. But it would seem to me a very courageous thing to say to one's kids.

The poet Kahlil Gibran has written this about children, “you can house their bodies, but not their souls”.

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”

Gibran's best-known work is The Prophet, a book composed of twenty-six poetic essays. Its popularity grew markedly during the 1960s with the American counterculture and then with the flowering of the New Age movements. It has remained popular with these and with the wider population to this day. Since it was first published in 1923, The Prophet has never been out of print. Having been translated into more than forty languages, it was one of the bestselling books of the twentieth century in the United States.

I was born into a Jewish family. I know for me that something did not feel right when I was exposed to religion in my own home. One of my darkest memories was an exposure to the separation of people. You are not of my faith became a type of unspoken declaration in the home where I grew up. Where was the love for all fellow human beings? I knew something didn't feel right to me when I went to public school with kids of all denominations, and yet there was an unspoken rule you did not invite them to your house. Did my father have any friends that were of different religions? Not that I could see. So I suppose as kids we choose to do one of two things. Embrace our parent's view of friendship which for me meant excluding people from my life or rejecting that closed minded view and embracing people on their own merit, not using their different religion as a reason for rejection.

As a result of my awareness that organized religion, as far as I could see, separated people from one another, I rejected religion altogether. The hypocrisy of it was glaring. Is there a religion on this planet that is not organized?

I learned from Wayne Dyer that often some of the most influential people in our lives are the last we would think of initially. He never met his biological father while the man was alive. It was not until after he was dead and buried in a pauper's grave did Wayne “meet” his father. He always knew that his dad abandoned the family days after Wayne's birth. So years later, how is it possible that Wayne Dyer named this man, his father, the most influential person in his life. His answer was simple. As he explains it, Wayne learned one of the greatest lessons on earth. He learned how to be self reliant, self sufficient as a result of his dad's abandonment of the family. It was not until I read this story in one of Wayne Dyer's books that I too could name my dad as the most influential person in my life. Often its the most challenging relationship we have that causes us to go down a certain path for our own growth.

In hindsight I would say that as a result of my disappointment over organized religion I began a quest for more spiritual exposure. I have always loved reading books and this was one way I could learn about the “metaphysical world”. It got me thinking early on, what if reincarnation does exist? How do I explain all those meaningful coincidences, aka synchronicity, I felt over the course of my life. Curiosity has served me well over the years.

Back in the late '90s I had a horoscope done by a lady who specialized in Past LIVES. Years earlier I had my birth chart done. For those who don't know, this is a chart of the sky, based on the relative positions of the stars and planets at the time of that person's birth. The word horoscope comes from the greek word horoskopos, hora for “time” and skopos for “observer”.

In the introduction of the past lives report I was handed, it said, ...”for many people, the idea that we have lived before (and will again) makes sense”. It is one possible explanation for deja vu (this feels familiar). The report goes on to explain that (1) an examination of Saturn and the Moon's Nodes (considered “karmic” factors by most astrologers) in regard to major life lessons & ingrained psychological patterns (2) an explanation of enduring issues signified by stellia and other repeated themes in the chart (3) a discussion of planets in and ruling the 4t, 8^th, and 12^th houses of the zodiac (considered keys to one's past lives) (4) a look at potential karmic debts and gifts signified by aspects, intercepted, and retrograde planets (5) a discussion of likely past life relationships to current people in our lives (Moon for mother, Sun for father, etc).

The report I received is 13 pages long. I cannot possibly share all that it contains. I will say that as I have re-read it over the years a lot of it resonates with me. One in particular I will include.

It's from a section called Karmic Gifts.

“With Uranus in Cancer (retrograde), you and some of your peers were active in times when attitudes toward family were shifting. When one set of roles was melting away, you helped to provide something new to take its place. Your ability to take a broad view of family helped you and your peers to transform definitions of domestic units. Your expanded transpersonal perspective will be particularly valuable in our swiftly changing world. Your past experiences increased your ability to see family within a humanitarian perspective. You incarnated to help people learn that the Earth is one family; that our interconnections are much more vital than our differences.”

If any discussion of past lives, religion, spirituality, and synchronicity resonates with you, I invite your comments.

Thank you for visiting my blog.

The Importance of “Love of Self”!!

RED SUNSET

This post is dedicated to my sister and all the sisters around the world.

I recently received a book from a good friend and author Marla Martenson. The book is entitled ADVENTURES IN MANIFESTING* LOVE AND ONENESS. She is one of 32 authors that contributed a chapter to this book. I am grateful to Marla for the gift of friendship as well as introducing me to some very interesting books out there. This is one of them.

There is a chapter by a wonderfully articulate writer by the name of Sherrie Rose.

I find myself wanting to share her take on SELF-LOVE.

In my opinion it is a topic of discussion that can benefit more individuals than any of us realize.

What is self love or love of self ?

“ Love of self is a dynamic expression. The emotional attributes of love of self are expressed in these ways: kindness, benevolence, discipline, awe, beauty, harmony, compassion, endurance, ambition, humility, and self leadership.” You can add some of your own attributes to Sherrie's list.

Self love is an energetic force that we can express in our daily living. I know I am drawn to those individuals who express their self love daily. I know from reading other books related to spirituality that there are high energy states of existence as well as low energy states. When we express our love of self we are in a high energy state. To be in a high energy state means we are vibrating at a faster rate. The higher the frequency, the closer we are to spiritual energy. This translates into our feeling lighter rather than heavier. In the lower frequencies, we find shortages and problems. When we are in a higher energy state, we attract that which we desire. We are able to connect to the power of intention, which is a unified field of energy that intends everything into existence. Everything in the universe has intent built into it. Every aspect of nature has intention built into it. The caterpillar becomes a butterfly through this powerful energy. We are, as living beings, a part of nature too.

“Having a belief system that denies your connection to intention is the only way you're unable to access the power of intention from the infinite field”. Lacking self love you can be “convinced you're unworthy of enjoying the field of all possibilities, then you radiate this kind of low energy. This will, in fact, become your attracted energy pattern, and you'll send messages to the universe that you're unworthy of receiving the unlimited abundance of the originating Spirit. Soon you'll act on this inner conviction of self-disrespect. You'll regard yourself as separate from the possibility of receiving the loving support of the originating field of intention, and you'll stop the flow of that energy into your life. Why? All because you see yourself as unworthy. This disrespect alone is sufficient to impede the arrival of your intentions into your life”.(Wayne Dyer:Power of Intention)

Dr. Andrew Weil, known for Integrative Medicine techniques, explains that in Evolutionary Psychology (the combination of two sciences -- evolutionary biology and cognitive psychology), it is a theory that we are programmed to experience some depression in our lives as it motivates a state of inward focus necessary for our own growth. In my opinion I do believe this. From my own experience, I felt some depression in my 20s. I kept a journal and documented my thoughts when I felt alone and disconnected from everyone and everything. For me it was a time of introspection.

In concluding, I would like to say that the topic of self love is one worthy of research by all of us. It is not taught in schools yet each of us faces our own expression of self love or the lack of it as we grow in years. If we do our self directed homework on this topic we can overcome much of the self inflicted suffering we experience. Joy from within is our birthright. 

SOUL TO SOUL

The view from high above Hollywood

According to OMG.Yahoo.com/news Johnny Depp and girlfriend of 14 years, Vanessa Paradis, have broken up. It was first reported in a magazine back in January that the couple was “living separate lives”. Now it’s June, and they are no longer denying it. When asked why he never made it official with Paradis, Depp said, ”I never found myself needing that piece of paper. Marriage is really from soul to soul, heart to heart. You don’t need somebody to say, okay you’re married… but some people do, so that’s cool”. Has anyone thought to ask Vanessa Paradis for her take on it?

Here we are in the year 2012 and everyone knows plenty of people married and then divorced. And of course there are those who stay together even when they should split. Change can be both exciting and scary.

Here may be a new model for relationships as described in the book by Gary Zukav, The Seat of the Soul.

“An archetype is a collective human idea. The archetype of marriage was designed to assist physical survival. When two people marry, they participate in an energy dynamic in which they merge their lives in order to help each other survive physically. When you speak of a "marriage" you invoke a particular consciousness, a particular energy. When two people marry, they become "husband" and "wife". Husband means the master of a house, the head of a household, a manager. From wikipedia: ORIGIN late Old English (in the senses ‘male head of a household’ and ‘manager, steward’), from Old Norse húsbóndi ‘master of a house,’ from hús ‘house’ + bóndi ‘occupier and tiller of the soil.’ The original sense of the verb was ‘till, cultivate.’ "Wife" means a woman who is joined to a man in marriage, a hostess of a household. Sometimes it means a woman of humble rank. The relationship between a husband and a wife is not equal. The archetype of marriage is no longer functional. It is being replaced with a new archetype that is designed to assist spiritual growth. This is the archetype of spiritual, or sacred, partnership. The underlying premise of a spiritual partnership is a sacred commitment between the partners to assist each other's spiritual growth. Spiritual partners recognize their equality. Spiritual partners are able to distinguish personality from soul, and therefore, they are able to discuss the dynamics between them, their interactions, on a less emotionally bound ground than husband and wives. That ground does not exist within the consciousness of marriage. It exists only within the consciousness of spiritual partnership because spiritual partners are able to see clearly that there is indeed a deeper reason why they are together, and that that reason has a great deal to do with the evolution of their souls. The conscious evolution of the soul is not part of the structural dynamic of marriage. It does not exist within that evolution because when the evolutionary archetype of marriage was created for our species, the dynamic of conscious spiritual growth was far too mature a concept to be included. What makes a spiritual, or sacred, partnership is that the souls within the partnership understand that they are together in a committed relationship, but the commitment is not to physical security. It is rather to be with each other's physical lives as they reflect spiritual consciousness. The bond between spiritual partners exists as real as it does in marriage, but for significantly different reasons. Spiritual partners are not together in order to quell each other's financial fears or because they can produce a house in the suburbs and that entire conceptual framework. The commitment of spiritual partners is to each other's spiritual growth, recognizing that that is what each of them is doing on Earth, and that everything serves that. Spiritual partners bond with an understanding that they are together because it is appropriate for their souls to grow together. They recognize that their growth may take them to the end of their days in this incarnation and beyond, or it may take them to six months.  They cannot say that they will be together forever. The duration of their partnership is determined by how long it is appropriate for their evolution to be together. All of the vows that a human being can take cannot prevent the spiritual path from exploding through and breaking those vows if the spirit must move on. It is appropriate for spiritual partners to remain together only as long as they grow together. The archetype of spiritual partnership is new to the human experience.”

You may or may not agree with Gary Zukav’s ideas but at least it starts the conversation. How do we evolve from here and where do we want to go in our relationships. Our spiritual partners can come from both genders. A friend will agree with you to make you feel good but a partner will tell you to have a look at something you may have not been willing to look at or even realized beforehand. I love my friends but I love my spiritual partners even more. They help me to grow. And just as being a good friend to ourselves is important, being a good spiritual partner to ourselves is even better, in my opinion. As the Summer Solstice (Latin for SUN STANDS STILL) is upon us, it is a good time to release any fear or sadness or negativity that is inside us. It is a wonderful time to list what we would like to bring into our life in a positive way. Make a list of all the things you want to manifest, and then light a couple of candles, and read the list as affirmations.

 Let 2012 be the year of POWERFUL AFFIRMATIONS. Here is one I like from Wayne Dyer: I am whole and perfect as I was created. What are your  favorite affirmations?

Getting Back to Wayne Dyer

Quartz & Crystal Anklet

 

I had started the book “THE POWER OF INTENTION: Learning to Co-Create Your World Your Way” by Wayne Dyer a number of months ago. Before finishing, other titles were showing up in my life. Conversations with friends were one way they’d make it into my awareness. I do believe in paying attention to what shows up at any given time. So I took a break from reading Dyer to start several others, trusting in the idea that there was good reason these other books were calling out to be read at that moment. Five books later, I am ready to resume. 

Today was the day I picked up The Power of Intention. I opened to where I had left my bookmark. I started the chapter and realized only a few sentences in that this was exactly what I needed to read now. I then went to the very last chapter, which he asks the reader to start with. It’s called A PORTRAIT OF A PERSON CONNECTED TO THE FIELD OF INTENTION.

“A person who lives in a state of unity with the Source of all life doesn’t look any different from ordinary folks. These people don’t wear a halo or dress in special garments that announce their godlike qualities. But when you notice that they go through life as the lucky ones who seem to get all the breaks, and when you begin to talk to them, you realize how distinctive they are compared to people living at ordinary levels of awareness.” “These people, whom I call “connectors” to signify their harmonious connection with the field of intention, are individuals who have made themselves available for success.” “They’ve made themselves available for success, and they know and trust in an invisible force that’s all providing. They’re so well connected to the all-providing Source that it’s as if they have a natural aura preventing anything from getting through that might weaken their connection to the creative energy of the power of intention.” “To connectors, it all seems so simple. Keep your thoughts on what you intend to create. Stay consistently matched up with the field of intention, and then watch for the clues that what you’re summoning from the all-creative Source is arriving in your life. To a connector, there are simply no accidents. Everything that shows up in their lives is there because the power of intention intended it there. So they’re always in a state of gratitude. They feel thankful for everything, even things that might seem to be obstacles. They have the ability and desire to see a temporary illness as a blessing, and they know in their heart that somewhere an opportunity exists in the setback, and that is what they look for in everything that shows up in their life.”

 Again, thank you Dr. Wayne Dyer for sharing your wisdom with us so we may lift the veil to realize our essence as a spiritual being having a human experience.