Spirit versus Ego

Spend time in Nature

Spirit vs Ego

We “spiritual beings having a human experience” are continually living from either our spirit or our ego at any given time. I would venture to say that when I am coming from spirit, I feel good. I also recognize that when I feel bad, if I check within, I discover I am coming from ego. To elaborate with an example would look like this. I am starting to worry that my partner is wasting time and money on something. That does not feel good to me. That's my clue that I am in the ego. I allow my spirit in at that point & I remember that worry is a waste of energy. I am not in the business of worrying, which is just a projection of a fear, which is an acronym for “False Expectations Appearing Real” (Ernest Chu, Soul Currency). I go back to my original affirmation to center myself once more. I say out loud, “ The Universe & God support me daily & I trust in the direction I am led”. Anytime I feel I am in my ego, I can say this affirmation as a way to connect with my spirit once again. Where'd the worry go? It no longer has a hold on me. Those thoughts, which are not reality, do not take my power away from me. I go back to centering myself to have faith in God that there are lessons to be learned and if something happens, it is meant to happen. Why fight the current?

There is a dance that goes on in our mind and body whereby we can choose to shift away from ego and into spirit. It's a choice we have. Think of Spirit as LOVE and Ego as FEAR. If you are having a bad day, stop and ask who is in control today. Is it ego or spirit?

I like what Deepak Chopra has to say in his book THE SEVEN SPIRITUAL LAWS of SUCCESS as it relates to this particular blog post on coming from spirit(love) vs coming from (ego)fear. “The experience of the Self, or “self-referral” means that our internal reference point is our own spirit, and not the objects of our experience. The opposite of self-referral is object-referral. In object-referral we are always influenced by objects outside the Self, which includes situations, circumstances, people, and things. In object-referral we are constantly seeking the approval of others. Our thinking and our behavior are always in anticipation of a response. It is therefore fear-based. In object-referral we also feel an intense need to control things. We feel an intense need for external power. The need for approval, the need to control things, and the need for external power are needs that are based on fear. This kind of power is not the power of the Self , or real power. When we experience the power of the Self, there is an absence of fear, there is no compulsion to control, and no struggle for approval or external power.

In object-referral, your internal reference point is your ego. The ego, however, is not who you really are. The ego is your self image, it is your social mask, it is the role you are playing. Your social mask thrives on approval. It wants to control, and it is sustained by power, because it lives in fear.

Your true Self, which is your spirit, your soul, is completely free of those things. It is immune to criticism, it is not afraid of any challenge, And it feels beneath no one. And yet, it humbles and feels superior to no one, because it recognizes that everyone else is the same Self, the same spirit in different disguises. “

To paraphrase, with self-referral, self empowerment follows. With self empowerment, you magnetize people, situations, and circumstances to support your desires. Law of Attraction is another way to express this.

It is also the Law of Synchronicity. Meaningful coincidences show up in our lives when we come from spirit. I am grateful each day for the gift of awareness to know spirit from ego.

What about religion?

A family of turtles

What about Religion?

Our parent's religion most often determines our first exposure to a given religion. There are those who would say we choose our parents before we incarnate into this material plane.

It is interesting to me that many people accept the religion of their parents as their own without question. As children there is much we do not know yet about the world's history. I can only imagine that most parents assume their children will embrace the same religion they follow. Perhaps a few out there say to their kids, ..”research all the religions of the world, and pick the one that resonates with you the most”. Ha, wouldn't that be special. I did not have that said to me growing up. I am also not a parent so I cannot tell you I did that. But it would seem to me a very courageous thing to say to one's kids.

The poet Kahlil Gibran has written this about children, “you can house their bodies, but not their souls”.

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”

Gibran's best-known work is The Prophet, a book composed of twenty-six poetic essays. Its popularity grew markedly during the 1960s with the American counterculture and then with the flowering of the New Age movements. It has remained popular with these and with the wider population to this day. Since it was first published in 1923, The Prophet has never been out of print. Having been translated into more than forty languages, it was one of the bestselling books of the twentieth century in the United States.

I was born into a Jewish family. I know for me that something did not feel right when I was exposed to religion in my own home. One of my darkest memories was an exposure to the separation of people. You are not of my faith became a type of unspoken declaration in the home where I grew up. Where was the love for all fellow human beings? I knew something didn't feel right to me when I went to public school with kids of all denominations, and yet there was an unspoken rule you did not invite them to your house. Did my father have any friends that were of different religions? Not that I could see. So I suppose as kids we choose to do one of two things. Embrace our parent's view of friendship which for me meant excluding people from my life or rejecting that closed minded view and embracing people on their own merit, not using their different religion as a reason for rejection.

As a result of my awareness that organized religion, as far as I could see, separated people from one another, I rejected religion altogether. The hypocrisy of it was glaring. Is there a religion on this planet that is not organized?

I learned from Wayne Dyer that often some of the most influential people in our lives are the last we would think of initially. He never met his biological father while the man was alive. It was not until after he was dead and buried in a pauper's grave did Wayne “meet” his father. He always knew that his dad abandoned the family days after Wayne's birth. So years later, how is it possible that Wayne Dyer named this man, his father, the most influential person in his life. His answer was simple. As he explains it, Wayne learned one of the greatest lessons on earth. He learned how to be self reliant, self sufficient as a result of his dad's abandonment of the family. It was not until I read this story in one of Wayne Dyer's books that I too could name my dad as the most influential person in my life. Often its the most challenging relationship we have that causes us to go down a certain path for our own growth.

In hindsight I would say that as a result of my disappointment over organized religion I began a quest for more spiritual exposure. I have always loved reading books and this was one way I could learn about the “metaphysical world”. It got me thinking early on, what if reincarnation does exist? How do I explain all those meaningful coincidences, aka synchronicity, I felt over the course of my life. Curiosity has served me well over the years.

Back in the late '90s I had a horoscope done by a lady who specialized in Past LIVES. Years earlier I had my birth chart done. For those who don't know, this is a chart of the sky, based on the relative positions of the stars and planets at the time of that person's birth. The word horoscope comes from the greek word horoskopos, hora for “time” and skopos for “observer”.

In the introduction of the past lives report I was handed, it said, ...”for many people, the idea that we have lived before (and will again) makes sense”. It is one possible explanation for deja vu (this feels familiar). The report goes on to explain that (1) an examination of Saturn and the Moon's Nodes (considered “karmic” factors by most astrologers) in regard to major life lessons & ingrained psychological patterns (2) an explanation of enduring issues signified by stellia and other repeated themes in the chart (3) a discussion of planets in and ruling the 4t, 8^th, and 12^th houses of the zodiac (considered keys to one's past lives) (4) a look at potential karmic debts and gifts signified by aspects, intercepted, and retrograde planets (5) a discussion of likely past life relationships to current people in our lives (Moon for mother, Sun for father, etc).

The report I received is 13 pages long. I cannot possibly share all that it contains. I will say that as I have re-read it over the years a lot of it resonates with me. One in particular I will include.

It's from a section called Karmic Gifts.

“With Uranus in Cancer (retrograde), you and some of your peers were active in times when attitudes toward family were shifting. When one set of roles was melting away, you helped to provide something new to take its place. Your ability to take a broad view of family helped you and your peers to transform definitions of domestic units. Your expanded transpersonal perspective will be particularly valuable in our swiftly changing world. Your past experiences increased your ability to see family within a humanitarian perspective. You incarnated to help people learn that the Earth is one family; that our interconnections are much more vital than our differences.”

If any discussion of past lives, religion, spirituality, and synchronicity resonates with you, I invite your comments.

Thank you for visiting my blog.

The Importance of “Love of Self”!!

RED SUNSET

This post is dedicated to my sister and all the sisters around the world.

I recently received a book from a good friend and author Marla Martenson. The book is entitled ADVENTURES IN MANIFESTING* LOVE AND ONENESS. She is one of 32 authors that contributed a chapter to this book. I am grateful to Marla for the gift of friendship as well as introducing me to some very interesting books out there. This is one of them.

There is a chapter by a wonderfully articulate writer by the name of Sherrie Rose.

I find myself wanting to share her take on SELF-LOVE.

In my opinion it is a topic of discussion that can benefit more individuals than any of us realize.

What is self love or love of self ?

“ Love of self is a dynamic expression. The emotional attributes of love of self are expressed in these ways: kindness, benevolence, discipline, awe, beauty, harmony, compassion, endurance, ambition, humility, and self leadership.” You can add some of your own attributes to Sherrie's list.

Self love is an energetic force that we can express in our daily living. I know I am drawn to those individuals who express their self love daily. I know from reading other books related to spirituality that there are high energy states of existence as well as low energy states. When we express our love of self we are in a high energy state. To be in a high energy state means we are vibrating at a faster rate. The higher the frequency, the closer we are to spiritual energy. This translates into our feeling lighter rather than heavier. In the lower frequencies, we find shortages and problems. When we are in a higher energy state, we attract that which we desire. We are able to connect to the power of intention, which is a unified field of energy that intends everything into existence. Everything in the universe has intent built into it. Every aspect of nature has intention built into it. The caterpillar becomes a butterfly through this powerful energy. We are, as living beings, a part of nature too.

“Having a belief system that denies your connection to intention is the only way you're unable to access the power of intention from the infinite field”. Lacking self love you can be “convinced you're unworthy of enjoying the field of all possibilities, then you radiate this kind of low energy. This will, in fact, become your attracted energy pattern, and you'll send messages to the universe that you're unworthy of receiving the unlimited abundance of the originating Spirit. Soon you'll act on this inner conviction of self-disrespect. You'll regard yourself as separate from the possibility of receiving the loving support of the originating field of intention, and you'll stop the flow of that energy into your life. Why? All because you see yourself as unworthy. This disrespect alone is sufficient to impede the arrival of your intentions into your life”.(Wayne Dyer:Power of Intention)

Dr. Andrew Weil, known for Integrative Medicine techniques, explains that in Evolutionary Psychology (the combination of two sciences -- evolutionary biology and cognitive psychology), it is a theory that we are programmed to experience some depression in our lives as it motivates a state of inward focus necessary for our own growth. In my opinion I do believe this. From my own experience, I felt some depression in my 20s. I kept a journal and documented my thoughts when I felt alone and disconnected from everyone and everything. For me it was a time of introspection.

In concluding, I would like to say that the topic of self love is one worthy of research by all of us. It is not taught in schools yet each of us faces our own expression of self love or the lack of it as we grow in years. If we do our self directed homework on this topic we can overcome much of the self inflicted suffering we experience. Joy from within is our birthright. 

A Cautionary Tale

Hi Connie:

Well, there's good news and bad news regarding my favorite blue clogs.

I brought them to your shoe repair guy yesterday. I needed the small heels done and not the entire sole.

He said $8, including glueing the inner soles down. And I could pick them up today. 

Wow, I thought.

Marty came with me to pick them up. In the store the lighting isn't so great, apparently.

I put them on to wear out the store, putting my other shoes in the bag. 

We made a few stops before I was out on the street in natural light.

Then I looked down at my feet to admire my favorite blue clogs.

They weren't blue anymore. 

In the sunlight, I could see he shined them with black polish. I stopped in my tracks. 

Marty couldn't completely understand why I would be upset. 

After all, he thought, they were shiny, as opposed to being slightly scuffed blue.

"I don't get it, so they're black now". 

I had to tell him. 

I went online to find blue clogs last week. They hardly make them in blue anymore.
I wear them with my blue jeans. I already had 2 pairs of black.

I couldn't find blue at the local shoe store down the street either. 
It was at that point that I decided to just get the heels replaced.

I told Marty I was unhappy with his lack of consolation regarding my awareness that my clogs were now black.  He said, why not just get blue polish and do them over yourself. I said no. I was happy with the shade of blue they came in and buying a blue polish would not guarantee the right shade.

Why did this repair guy polish them black?

Was it because the lighting in the store is bad and he thought they were black or is it because he doesn't have blue polish? We never even discussed polishing them. 

I suppose at this point I must exercise acceptance. 
The universe wants me to have yet another pair of black clogs.

Anyway, we can laugh about this. I need to let it go.

This is just a cautionary tale. 

Check for good lighting in stores. 

How is your day?

xoL

WHY COCONUT?

Example of how a coconut looks like a face and head.

WHY COCONUT?

I had no idea of the many health benefits associated with coconut until I recently started reading up on it. The author of one book I read has gone as far as calling the coconut the miracle ingredient for treating diseases and ailments in the human body. Although there is some debate over their health benefits, I believe that coconut is worth the research and experimentation in cooking and in it's many uses. There is also debate over where in the world they originated.

Cocos nucifera, or coconut, is a member of the palm family. The term coconut can refer to the entire coconut palm, the seed or the fruit. The “coconut” term is derived from 16th century Portuguese and Spanish “cocos”, meaning "grinning face", from the three small holes on the coconut shell that resemble human facial features.

As I mentioned already, the origin of the coconut plant has been the subject of debate . It is thought to come from the western Pacific & near the Indian Ocean and spread via human activity and ocean currents to most of the tropics. There are a number of studies that also claim that the fruit has its origin in the northwestern region of South America.

In the Pacific, coconuts were likely first cultivated in island Southeast Asia, including places like the Philippines, Malaysia, & Indonesia as well as the southern periphery of India, including Sri Lanka.

Coconut plays an important role in Indian ritual and features in Indian mythology. Since it resembles a human head, with three marks on its shell , like eyes and a mouth, and fibre like hair on the husk, it was known as the fruit of the gods and cutting the tree was abhorred.

Coconuts are part of the daily diet of many people around the world. They are different from any other fruits because they contain a large quantity of "water". When immature they are known as tender-nuts or jelly-nuts and may be harvested for drinking. When mature they still contain some water and can be used as seednuts or processed to give oil from the kernel, charcoal from the hard shell and coir (fiber from the outer husk of the coconut, used for making ropes and matting).

Coconut milk, not to be confused with coconut water, is obtained primarily by extracting juice by pressing the grated coconut's white kernel or by passing hot water or milk through grated coconut, which extracts the oil and aromatic compounds. The milk can be used to produce virgin coconut oil by controlled heating and removal of the oil fraction.

I reflect upon this last year as I made a number of changes in my diet & lifestyle. I now use coconut oil in cooking and baking. I use skincare products that include coconut as a moisturizer for my skin. I always have a fresh white coconut on hand to crack open, drain the water inside for drinking, then use the white fleshy part for salads and vegetable stir fry. It stores for about a week, once cracked open, in the refrigerator. More recently I have made unsweetened coconut milk a staple in my fridge. It can be used in coffee to replace cow's milk or in my saute pan when cooking vegetables with rice and quinoa. It is quickly absorbed by whatever is in the pan. Add soy chirizo to the vegetables in the pan after the milk is added and it turns a nice shade of orange.

Every dish and beverage I have made using either the milk and/or meat from a coconut has been dee-lish! It's a great ingredient in soup as well.

You can say I am a fan of all things coconut. Here's to good health and good eating!

Why Soup?

Homemade Squash Soup for Dee-lish! 

Why Soup?

It's both dee-lish and healthy, often economical, and a good way to lose weight or maintain weight without feeling hungry at the end of the day.

Though most of us know what soup is, there are a few things about soup I have come to learn and want to share with you.

The word soup comes from the French word soupe ("soup", "broth"), which comes through Vulgar Latin suppa ("bread soaked in broth") and from a Germanic source, from which also comes the word "sop", a piece of bread used to soak up soup or a thick stew. Soup was considered in 16^th century France to be a hearty meal, a way for travelers to restore themselves on the road.
The french word for soup became linked to the french word for restoration.
The word restaurant (meaning "something restoring") was first used in France in the 16th century, to refer to a highly concentrated, inexpensive soup, sold by street vendors, that was advertised as an antidote to physical exhaustion. In 1765 a Parisian soup-vendor named Boulanger (which, confusingly, means Baker) put up a sign outside his shop in Latin, reading:

“VENITE AD ME VOS QUI STOMACHO LABORATIS ET EGO RESTAURABO VOS ” translated into English means: "Come to me, all who labour in the stomach, and I will restore you." The idea of serving individual meals to customers who could sit down and eat them on the spot was, amazingly, very new; so the restorative aspect of Boulanger's innovation was incorporated into the name for this type of establishment.

Thus, the word "restaurant" comes from the French word " la restauration", meaning "restoration". A restaurant's proprietor is called a restaurateur (pron.: /ˌrɛstərəˈtɜr/); both words derive from the French verb restaurer, meaning "to restore".

Appreciating the origins of this particular type of meal, I am in complete agreement that it can be a restorative meal and very enjoyable at the same time. I encourage others to experiment at home with herbs and spices and substitute ingredients where it might be necessary. What's right for one, may not be for the other. Making soup is not an exact science but an art form.

Soup, salad, and a piece of bread has become one of my favorite meals. It makes me think of the expression: "to break bread with another". 

"To break bread is to affirm trust, confidence, and comfort with an individual or group of people. Breaking bread has a notation of friendliness and informality, derived from the original meaning regarding sharing the loaf". 

A Mirror for Our Energy

Sitting in Nature

“While volunteering as a counselor at a maximum-security prison in California and working with one of her most difficult cases, Lisa noticed that traditional techniques were failing. She took a radical chance and broke from script, confronting and challenging Bella, the hardened “lifer,” in front of her. The next hour transformed both their lives.” from the web site created by Lisa Haisha, mental health counselor in private practice.

I recently had the opportunity to be in the audience where one of the guest speakers, Lisa Haisha, was introduced by the legendary Christopher Howard, mentor to hundreds of people on the path of personal growth.

In one of her anecdotal shares, Lisa explained how when she was a volunteer at a prison for women, she was asked to meet with the scariest of all inmates. Though this female inmate had committed several murders that put her in prison, that was not the scary part. It was that when anyone came face to face with Bella, they were all afraid of her because of the energy she was projecting. It was anything but a “feel good” vibration for others around her. Lisa felt Bella's heavy energy just like everyone else at the prison had before her. Whereby others had failed to connect with Bella, Lisa did something that no one else had tried. She matched Bella's energy. Looking her straight in the eye, not talking as she moved in close, Lisa shot out heavy energy right back to Bella. This made Bella really uncomfortable. What then happened was nothing short of a miracle. Bella got what her energy felt like to others. It was as if a mirror had been placed in front of Bella. Lisa was effective in getting Bella to understand and take responsibility for her own energy. In that moment something opened up for her and she allowed Lisa in. The two women connected.

Bella could finally remove the mask she had been wearing for all those years in prison. The mask that said YOU NEED TO FEAR ME & DO NOT ENTER, NO LOVE HERE came off. The weight of the world was lifted off her shoulders when that mask came off. The back & shoulder pain she suffered from disappeared and she felt physically better than she had in years.

I love this story. I bring it up because I know we all feel other people's energy to one degree or another when we are in their presence. We might feel energized, inspired, or even calm in the presence of another person's energy. Perhaps on the flip side we are brought down by their energy. The reality in life is that we humans have good days, bad days, moody, low energy, high energy, challenging, busy, or sad days and so on and the resulting vibration generated by that energy is what others encounter when around us. We need to be aware and sensitive to the fact that we affect each other by our vibration at any given time. When we find ourselves around a person's energy that feels disruptive to our own energy, we may feel challenged by it. How we handle it is the concern in question.

So what happens when we meet up with a friend or colleague whose energy may not feel good to us?

Speaking from my own experience, I have learned a few lessons that came about as a result of an awkward & uncomfortable situation with a friend. We cannot take back things that were said but we can reflect upon how we might handle a situation better in the future. How could the dialogue have been different? None of us are perfect and our energy isn't always in sync with the other person. All we can do is take responsibility for our own behavior which includes our communication skills and hope that others will too. When there are two of you in the room, each side has a responsibility to effectively communicate. That comes with practice. It is the difficult conversations that challenge our abilities. We learn through our mistakes. Forgiving ourselves for our mistakes is also part of that process. All experiences are part of the process of living.

It has been said that all of us wear a mask. Some of us wear more than one.

To learn more about these masks , visit http://thesoulblazing.com/the-impostors-2/meet-the-impostors-2/

Then take the impostor quiz to learn which one or ones you wear at http://lisahaisha.com/quiz/

How well do you know yourself and your impostors?

Disclaimer:I am not advocating doing the exercise of mirroring someone else's energy unless you have the training for it. 

Taking Issue with Issues

Self-Portrait: Part of Nature  

We all have issues. It's part of the human experience. Issues that come up in our lives can be viewed as either a negative, as in an unwelcome problem, or, as a positive, as in a welcomed challenge. If an issue is perceived as a problem, we may want to ignore it. A challenge on the other hand is something we can take on and master.

I think to some degree we are all a bit resistant to identifying our issues. Often times we'll see someone else's issues before we are willing to see our own. We humans are delicate beings. We, and I mean to include myself here, don't look at our issues until an uncomfortable situation arises. A trigger occurs at an unconscious level that connects the unresolved issue of the past with the present situation that brings forth a similar feel to it. I discovered I have an issue with what I perceive to be dominating personalities.

I refer to my own experience from many years ago. I worked nights at a job with a lot of down time. I became friendly with a gal that worked there. We then socialized outside of work. When she got married for the second time, I went to her wedding. I spent time around her and her second husband. Then some years later she moved to another state. I accepted an invitation to come visit. She decided she wanted to go on a vacation without her husband and kids. I was to be her companion for that trip. Well, they say you never really get to know another person until you travel with them. I had travelled many times with friends and enjoyed myself in their company. I had never travelled with her until this visit.

Once I arrived there and started to experience what she was like, there can be no other way but to say, she was a dominating personality. She controlled everything. There was never a question posed to me, “What would you like to do, or where would you like to go or where would you like to eat?” She didn't ask because she had decided on the agenda for our entire trip. I believed at the time that if I tried to suggest something, it would have made things worse. My belief back then was dominating individuals want to stay in control. It was a way of being that was familiar to them. I never thought to ask why she had a need to dominate. I stayed low key and made the best of my situation. I returned home from that trip and made a mental note to never visit her again.

I knew I had a choice. I could tell her I did not appreciate her controlling the trip or I could just let it go since she was not local to me anymore and our friendship was limited by geography. I chose not to deal with her. I suppose I can say in hindsight I did not deal with this issue. The friendship faded into oblivion. Then one day I got a call from her and she said she was getting a divorce. She was very bitter towards her husband for finding someone else to love. I listened as she went on and on about how he did this "to" her. She expressed a lot of anger. She saw herself as a victim. I admit I thought to myself, “well, he finally had enough. Their marriage had worked as long as he was obsequious to her controlling personality ”.

In my opinion it's not a good thing to be a passive personality either. There should be a balance somewhere in the middle.

In the Tao te Ching ( pronounced dow te ching ) translated as THE WAY, it's known as the secret of the middle way. In the book THE UNTETHERED SOUL, the author explains: From science we know that if you pull a pendulum thirty degrees to the right, it will swing back until it's 30 degrees to the left. The same principles drive everything in this world. The ideal place is in the middle where there is no energy pushing in either direction. The Way is the place in which these forces balance quietly. If you want to understand the Tao, take a closer look at what lies between the two extremes. This is because neither extreme can last. How long can a pendulum stay at one of its outermost positions? It can only remain there for a moment. How long can a pendulum stay at rest? It can remain there forever because there are no forces moving it out of balance. That is the Tao. It is the center. It does not mean that it stays static and fixed. Everything has a yin and yang, two extremes to experience. Yet we should not live in the extremes as everything has its own balance point. In yoga we learn the value of flexibility and balance. A metaphor for living.

I recognize that life has a way of presenting us with the issue repackaged in a new setting for another go at it. Perhaps it is another chance to do things differently. Recently I had a trigger relating to that old issue. Upon reflection, I noted the connection between the issue back then and the one I was having now. They were similar though different. The trigger was there for me to bring the unconscious into conscious awareness. Perhaps it was time to challenge an old belief of mine.

We are here to grow and learn from our experiences. A trigger is the bridge between then and now. Awareness of our triggers is a step in the right direction for personal growth.

How Well Do You know Yourself? What are your triggers?

Southern CA Sailing* photo by Mark T. Workman   Copyright

We are all Spiritual beings having a human experience while we are alive. Part of that human experience is becoming aware of our EGO state of mind. When we respond to others from that Ego mind, instead of from Spirit consciousness, we can gain insight into what our triggers are if we pay attention. It's the triggers that let us know what we need to heal within ourselves for personal growth.

One of the things I have learned recently is that we all process information differently. Some process outside stimuli predominantly through their emotions while others through intellectual analysis. I admit I fall into the latter. My left brain takes over wanting to analyze until I exhaust myself. I am working on that.

So I ask the question, "How well do you know yourself and what are your triggers?"

To better explore this topic I have included an example of an individual I came in contact with recently.

At a weekend seminar on Success & Achievement, I recently met a guy named George (not his real name) when we were asked to get in a group to do an exercise. After the exercise we had an opportunity to chat and I mentioned I have a blog. He asked for the URL and brought it up on his phone. At some point he read a bit and I asked him what he thought. He said I needed a stronger hook at the beginning because it took him several sentences before he knew what I was getting at. I considered that it's best not to read a blog on such a small screen. We exchanged emails. I wrote him a short note thanking him for the suggestions he made to improve my blog.

Hi George:

Just want to touch base and say hi.

How are you doing since your intensive weekend?

I want to thank you again for the suggestions re: my blog.

Letting you know I added a gadget for emails and also a "translate" into

other languages gadget. I know there are more things to do and they will come in time.

Here's a link to my blog when you can read it on a larger screen.

http://spiralhappy.blogspot.com

Again, so nice to meet you and share our dream goals with one

another.

See you at the next one…

Best,

Lynne

Hi Lynne,

It was great meeting you. I have been learning lessons from our

conversation. Particularly I wanted to thank you for showing me how to

gracefully receive criticism, and use it to compliment the person

giving it.

It was artfully and soulfully done and I am internalizing it now as a

skill I can develop for myself.

I will spend some more time reading your blog and share any thoughts

that are forthcoming.

All my best,

George

If I had to guess, I would say George has had an issue in the past regarding criticism, either for himself being criticized or when he's criticized another. What struck me when I read his email was that he chose to call it criticism. Criticism is defined in the dictionary as finding fault with. Instead I felt when I asked George for his opinion, he was letting me know how his experience could have been better for him. He was giving an opinion, that's all. I knew that behind the opinion was a good intention. He was trying to be helpful, not find fault.

Perhaps we all best remember that it is our intention behind our communication that should be our guide.

Upon googling the question “How to deal with our EGOS when it is triggered” I came across this site at Spiritual -Experiences.com and want to share what it said:

“How I personally deal with my ego state is to become friends with it. When I feel something that makes my ego react (an insult for example), I allow that feeling to come to the surface (non suppression). I analyze the triggers that then fire off in my brain (adrenaline, fear, etc.) and then I reprogram it with new emotions (love, laughter, and compassion). I allow the initial ego feelings to pass, and then I bring warmth and gratitude to the situation. I either thank the person for giving me this opportunity to grow, or I send them compassion for showing me that they are the pain in me and I am the pain in them. If they attack me, there is hurt in them, if I react, then there is pain in me. Healing is required of us both.

This is a lifelong endeavor. It starts with acknowledgement, lives through understanding and acceptance and finds resolution in love.”

Gratitude to George for allowing me to use his email to help explore this topic. I encourage anyone who would like to know more about EGO & TRIGGERS to do more research.

The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer is a wonderful place to start. “The Untethered Soul begins by walking you through your relationship with your thoughts and emotions, helping you uncover the source and fluctuations of your inner energy. It then delves into what you can do to free yourself from the habitual thoughts, emotions, and energy patterns that limit your consciousness. Finally, with perfect clarity, this book opens the door to a life lived in the freedom of your innermost being.”

Thank you for visiting my blog.

What kind of relationship do you have with yourSelf?

The Twilight Hour* photo by Mark T. Workman Copyright

At a recent gathering of women I was asked the following question. With whom in your life do you have your most important relationship with. Without a hesitation I immediately said.. with myself. I cannot imagine any other answer for anybody. Without self- love, self esteem, self care, self respect,.. whatever you want to call it... without this relationship of self connection we are hard pressed to feel connected to others. After all, we can only give what we have to give, and that includes love. To the extent we have love for ourselves, we can give love to others.

I remember going to my local library one day when my least favorite library employee was there behind the front desk. They would keep the extra movie DVDs on a shelf behind the desk when the regular shelves became too crowded. The only problem was that in order to see the titles on the DVDs I had to get in close. I never had an issue with the other library workers when I walked over to these DVDs to take a glance. The whole point of a library is to make books and tapes available. Not to put them on a shelf and say in so many words, haha,.. we have these but we won't let you see them and if you can't see them, you cannot borrow them. On this day I really wanted to find a movie I could take home and watch. As I approached the front desk to where I could get a better view of the titles, this library employee, without so much as a smile, just said... oh you aren't allowed back here. She did not care to ask how she could be of service. It was like she lived for the moment when she could reprimand someone for doing a bad thing. I just looked back at her and without saying a word, went to the back of the library and found the librarian on duty. I explained to him what just happened. He didn't act surprised and he didn't have to ask which employee I was talking about. He knew. It was the lady who had no love for anybody, probably because she had no love for herself. I know that initially I felt annoyed that this woman would hinder my ability to borrow a DVD. After discussing the situation with an enlightened friend I came to understand the dynamic behind why she would treat me and others like this. Instead of annoyance I came to have compassion. Imagine going through life not smiling all day while at your workplace and not connecting with others. I was lucky. I was just a visitor to this library. The other employees had to endure her energy all day long. I know this because I had gotten to familiarize myself with most of the people working there. When they saw how she treated me, they understood all too well and let me know. Eventually she got transferred to another branch and I could tell how relieved they were. Her energy was heavy and dark. Bottom line: Have compassion for those who do not see that there is a light available to everyone. They just have to know they are in the dark. Would she do better if she knew better?Probably.

In the book, “Living in Process, Basic Truths for Living the Path of the Soul”, by Anne Wilson Schaef, there is a chapter called Being An Individual. This is a quote from that chapter. “As individuals, our lives exist to be lived. We are the process of that living. As we live our process, we become who we can be.”

“We have inside of us from the very beginning everything we need to be who we can be. We have everything we need to heal. We have everything we need to grow. We have everything we need to evolve. We have everything we need to handle the mistakes we make and learn from them. We have everything we need to realize our spiritual selves. We are like the universe in a drop of water, and we are the process of that universe.

We humans are creative and have devised many ways not to live our process, and sooner or later, we long to return to the process of ourselves.”

I have found one good way to return to the process of oneself is to be still. Spending quiet alone time meditating. Its important to create the space for divine guidance to come through. As human beings we may find ourselves alone, but as spiritual beings we are never far from Source. By setting an intention during meditation, the guidance comes through the listening process. If we are too busy throughout the day and never get still enough to be intimate with our process, how are we to learn who we are?

“ When we allow ourselves the space in which to learn truly who we are, the good, and the bad, the acceptable and the unacceptable, we come to know what is and that's what is important. It's only from what is that we're able to move to what can be. If we will not or cannot explore and accept the what is, we are doomed to be stuck. Paradoxically, it's only as we accept our truth, who we are, that we have the possibility of changing. Intimacy with self in an externally focused society is not easy, yet, this is where we must start”. “ Many believe that we find out who we are in relationships. Not true! We must have a self to bring to the relationship in order to establish a relationship with someone else. If we are looking to the relationship to define us, we're simply using it as a quick fix and it is doomed to fail. Relationships aren't meant to tell us who we are.Relationships can add to who we are, they can never define who we are.”

Many thanks to Anne Wilson Schaef for taking on this subject in LIVING IN PROCESS. She has also created the Center for Living in Process in Boulder, Montana. 

To Be Happy Or Not To Be Happy* Your decision

Once in a blue Moon* Photo by Mark T. Workman Copyright

WE have all heard of Unconditional Love. How about Unconditional Happiness?

How many of us are really “unconditionally” happy? Just as unconditional love is not dependent on circumstances, neither is unconditional happiness. What does unconditional happiness even look like?

Can you say .. I am happy even in the midst of “less than desirable” events occurring in my life?

In his book, The Untethered Soul, Michael A. Singer explains in the chapter called The Path of Unconditional Happiness, that we have a choice in this life, and its to decide whether we want to be happy or not. Its not about your job, your love life, or whether you have great finances. You make one basic, underlying decision: Do you want to be happy, or do you not want to be happy? Its simple. You are being asked to give an unconditional answer. No matter what happens to you, can you remain happy? Once you make the choice, your path through life becomes totally clear.

He explains that most people don't dare give themselves that choice because they think it's not under their control. For example, someone might say, I want to be happy but I got let go from my job. Or, I want to be happy but my spouse left me. Or, I want to be happy but I need more money in order to feel that way. So they want to be happy but don't think they can be if they lose a job or a partner. The reality is that if you say Yes, I want to be happy, then external circumstances do not have to determine your state of happiness. If you allow events that you have no control over to determine your happiness, then you are saying I want to be happy and I have a deep seated set of preferences that determine it. Switch your thinking to simply “I want to be Happy” and stay happy no matter what challenges life throws you.

Interestingly enough, once you make the decision to remain unconditionally happy, life will test that commitment. Something will happen that challenges you. According to Singer, this test of your commitment is exactly what stimulates spiritual growth. This unconditional aspect of your commitment makes this the highest path. You decide whether or not to break your vow. When everything is going well in your life, its easy to be happy. When difficulty enters the picture, its not so easy. “ I didn't know the battery would die on me, or I didn't know I'd miss my flight, or I didn't know somebody would dent my new car”. Things will happen. The question, he says, is whether you want to be happy regardless of what happens. Events don't determine whether or not we're going to be happy unless you let them. You determine whether or not you're going to be happy. You can be happy just to be alive. We can choose happiness no matter what happens. I suppose he would say, sure, be sad for a pet that's sick or even dies, but do not live there. The purpose of your life is to enjoy and learn from your experiences. You were not put on Earth to suffer. You can be happy while still having all these things happen to you. If you live this way, your heart will be so open and your Spirit will be so free, you will walk the highest spiritual path in this life. If you want to be happy, let go of the part of you that wants to create melodrama. This is the part of you that thinks there's a reason not to be happy. Once you transcend this you will awaken to the higher aspects of your being. Committing yourself to unconditional happiness will teach you every single thing there is to learn about yourself, about others, and about the nature of life. Every time a part of you begins to get unhappy, let it go. Use affirmations. Meditate. Pray. Whatever you need to stay open. If you look within, you will see that when you are happy, your heart is open, and energy rushes up inside of you. When you aren't happy, your heart feels closed and no energy comes up inside. You get to choose how energy comes in and leaves your body. An open heart vs a closed heart. You choose.

I do believe we create disease in our bodies when we are closed. Dis-ease is the opposite of ease. When we are not in a state of “allowing” life to happen, when we try to fight the allowing, our bodies manifest that dis-ease and we get sick. Illness is our body's way of letting us know we are closed and energy is trapped within. We are energy beings having a human experience.

Do you have anyone in your life that you know remains happy even when life throws them a curve ball, regardless of what happens? Perhaps you are that person. What a blessing!

Many thanks to Michael A. Singer for writing The Untethered Soul. If you enjoyed this post and want to have a "journey beyond yourself", & learn more about the nature of consciousness, then this book is for you. 

To Be Or Not to Be

Looking upwards

For years I have been heavily into a ritual of making a TO DO LIST the night before any given day. Then as the next day progressed, I could check off the list as I accomplished those things. I was always under the impression it was important to have a TO DO LIST written down on paper, especially if one's short term memory is challenged. I would joke with people and say if I didn't write down, “do laundry”, I would forget about it completely. It never occurred to me that there's an equally valid type of list one can make on a daily basis and it would also set up a series of accomplished tasks but in a different style. I was reading a book recently called SOUL CURRENCY by Ernest D. Chu, and he set forth an exercise I have come to embrace and make part of my day. I have been sharing that awareness with friends as well as on Facebook. It occurred to me to share it with blog readers.

It's called the “TO BE” List.

Write down states of being you would like to find yourself in.

So here's a sample To BE List I came up with that will serve me well. You can get ideas from here or make up one of your own.

1. Be grateful.
2. Be kind
3. Be supportive of yourself
4. Be supportive of others
5. Be mindful
6. Be aware
7. Be creative
8. Be productive
9. Be inspired
10. Be present
11. Be courageous
12. Be generous
13. Be joyful
14. Be open to going with the flow
15. Be connected within yourself
16. Be connected with others
17. Be loving with yourself
18. Be loving with others
    and the list goes on.

I find that often we view a To Do List as chores. Just the word chores has a bad connotation for many of us. I might have had to finish making a necklace I started months ago and if I wrote on my TO DO LIST, finish necklace, I might not feel like it and then it gets put off to another day and I might get down on myself for not attending to it. BUT now, if I write down on my TO BE LIST, be creative... then I might view finishing the necklace as a form of creativity instead. Or finishing the necklace might fall under Be Productive. One task might satisfy many line items at once. For example, if I have plans with someone and they get cancelled, then I shift into ok, I was not meant to be with them and instead I find some other item from my TO BE List to choose from so I am not stuck in my head that they cancelled on me. I also enjoy being in a state of allowing the day to unfold without having plans. When asked by a friend recently on a Friday what did I have planned for the weekend, I said I was going to just go with the flow, let it unfold. I have trust in that process. Come Monday I am happy to say I had a great weekend. I had some unexpected things happen and I found joy in the flow of activities I found myself in. Its not important what I did, only that I flowed with the current and learned some things about myself through sharing it with others.

I am also learning the process of allowing life to happen. Allowing new people into your life is one way. People come into your life for a reason you may not understand at first. Everyone has something to give. And when not giving, we are receiving. Being open to receiving is no small thing. Anyone can give, but can you receive?

For now it is my intention to plant a seed of awareness that I received from reading Soul Currency and give that to you. Pass it on. Pay it forward.

We are spiritual beings having a human experience in this life.

Enjoy the journey.

Love & Light!

Hollywood Days & Nights with friends